On Regaining a Sense of Self after Becoming a Mom

I am mom to the two greatest kids in the world (not the best behaved, mind you, but the greatest anyway). I never meant for that to be all I was, but for a time I lost a sense of who else I was, and I started to accept that as just the way things were.

It took treatment for anxiety, but also my kids getting a little older, for me to remember who I was and that I could go back to being that person while still being a good mom.

Sure, it's harder to balance work and hobbies when I also have kids in the mix, but it's not impossible. I can knit while hanging out with the kids at the playground; I can write postcards to voters with the kids; I can podcast after they're in bed. It helps, a lot, that I have a husband who is supportive of my hobbies and who cooks our dinners and who doesn't mind the occasional solo bedtime while I'm at an Indivisible meeting. (But then again, I wouldn't be married to someone who wasn't supportive of me being me.)

Some things are suffering as I try to adjust. I am definitely not working out as much as I used to, and my diet isn't the best. But I am really happy and really fulfilled in a way I haven't been in a long time, and I think that's probably just as important for my overall health.

I don't have all the answers. I don't know how to help all mothers get the balance they need. But I can tell you that it's possible and it's important. Being a mom is great, and it's the most important thing I've ever done. But it's not all I am, and I'm glad I remembered that.